Top trumps

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Ok, we need some tardis top trumps. Please be as meta as possible. I guess 8 categories is sufficient. My nominations are

pub
bacon
horses
ldap

Bung:

pub: 9 bacon: 6 horses: 10 ldap: 5

Pub:

seth: n susie: (1/2)*bung bung: 10 monkey: 0 n: 9

AAAAA:

AAAA: a AAA: a AAAAA: a pub: r